I am just down. Dissatisfied. Isolated. Feeling like I am done here. Everything points to do it. Then there is the offer on my beloved home. I know it is time to go. But to where? What can I afford and still live comfortably on the meager amount I get for my home. Having a lovely home, relatively new, or better yet NEW is important to me.
A friend from out of state called today. In fact, I have been hearing from lots of friends lately. It is fall, so I am cleaning out my list of who will follow me into 2018. There will be lots of changes.
The nasties are definitely being left. I miss having someone to talk to. Someone to run things by. A partner. Seems everyone is too busy for friendship. Or maybe that is because I have made some lousy choices in them. I am grateful to have a couple of close ones.
A dear friend has a new boyfriend. He seems perfect for her and I couldn't be happier. She deserves the very best. Other friends just lost their partners. They are forlorned, vulnerable and mourning.
I think this time of year is for reflection. Looking back but definitely looking more forward. Looking at the choices we have made in mates - friends. Partners. Are we doing the same thing expecting a different result?
Three years ago after a short lived, ridiculous semi-relationship, I vowed to take a few years off and just reflect. Think about the next adventure. Notice the signs that it is time to go. Maybe the hardest thing now for me is to just be. Let the process unfold. No expectations. No attachment.
