Pre-Birthday Girl's Night Out

The A Team.

That's who we are.  Mother, daughter, daughter-in-law.

A delicious restaurant.  Stunning architecture. Glass enclosed central fireplace. Open. Airy.  The best service I have had in years. And a Colombian-Cuban waiter.  What a performance!

My first thought was that he was Spanish speaking but the dialectic, well, I just couldn't pin it down.  Exotic for sure.

Here we were.  Our first outing together. We all used to live in three separate states.  Now we are in two. Bridging the gap.  We see each other more now.  This time, there are no men, no children, just us.  A first of many.

Sharing life's journey.  And lots of stories.  Funny stories.  Worrisome ones. Raising children.  Hearing what stands out in your child's memory book.  

The family matriarch shares her dating stories.  The women want to know more.

"He's not making a move, but he is interested."

"Yes, he IS interested," the women chimed in.

"Invite him for coffee."

"Agreed.  No attachments, just coffee."

"Honey, it's a generational thing.  I can't do that.  I scared."

The laughter was shared among the generations.  The talk turned quickly to raising children.  Daycare.  Work and family.  The joy of hoteling it. 

"Nothing, absolutely nothing to do," the women said smiling.

"No one is asking anything of us."

They admitted they loved being by themselves in a hotel.  A chance for quiet.  Lots of mindless TV.  More quiet. Nothingness.  Ahhh.

The generations got closer.  The matriarch listened.  Remembering.  I didn't have all that busyness. Being home raising children makes some things easier.  Scheduling for sure.  Toss in college, grad school, moving every few years.

"I wish I had grown up in the same home."

We moved a lot.  It wasn't my choice I thought.

"You seemed to love every adventure, Mom."

"I made it work.  There is adventure in everything.  You just have to look."

"I like going back to my room in parent's house," one said.

"I did, too," I said.

The desserts arrived.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Fondant, Toasted Marshmallow, Peanut Brittle
   Grape Caramel, Graham Cracker Crumble

We got quiet.  More than delicious.  The conversation covered childhood friends, family experiences, laughter. 

We wondered who would take the last bite.  We soon found out.  It wasn't me.  This time.

Thanks ladies.  It was a wonderful pre-birthday family girl's night out. Muaaawhhh!

The Cove

This hidden jewel is a place to step back.  Step back to an easier time.  When we asked less of life, more of ourselves. 

To the right of the photograph above, there are a myriad of expectations.  Albeit beautiful ones.  No, the

house doesn't list to the right.  That is because the photographer took a hurried photograph.  It was starting to rain.

But I wonder what it is like to awaken and look out the window to this million dollar plus view. 

Hot coffee or tea, blueberries, strawberries and melons.  If I am lucky, a chocolate scone is awaiting for breakfast.  And this awesome view!

Compassion

Cold and rain came to New England this morning.  And wanting.  More like m-i-s-s-i-n-g.  That feeling comes over me.  Fall in western North Carolina, the Smokies, is unlike fall anywhere.  Even in charming and quaint New England.

Living along the coast is consistently breathtaking.  But growing up near the Chesapeake Bay set my course.  Water.  Water cleanses and nourishes my soul.

Torch singer Nora Jones asks listeners to "come away with me."  I am away and near.  It is soulful music and gets at that inner space within.  Where the knots and tangles, memories and fears, joy and jubilation reside. 

Sitting by the window in a North Shore restaurant with its California eclectism, there is a crossroads.  A intersection of the emotional poles.  My north beckons.  Honor your story, follow your heart. 

YES!  I miss the Smokies.  I don't miss the loneliness.  That was more than abundant.  Like the foliage.  Yet in that loneliness is a calling within.  Be still.  Quiet.  Take the time. 

I want to go back.  And I don't.  I want to be done with it all.  The beauty beckons.  It is a place to be with self.  A place to be with others.  Sharing the joy, the mountains, trails, rivers. 

Lunch is over and I find my way into the mall.

POTTERY BARN.  My missingness dissipates.  Lust takes over me.  There is so much I love in this store!  Two hydrangeas in hand, I leave the store more than happy.  For a time. Fleeting.  Acquisitions aren't sustainable.  I know that.  Still, I do love my purchases.  But I love my life more. The opportunity to see things as they are.  Well, most of the time.

My mind wanders to my life style.  Where I spend my time.  How I spend my time. My thoughts.  Are they more than 80% healthy, happy ones? And compassion to those who annoy me.  Compassion to all who suffer.  We all suffer.  We all struggle.

This is a worthwhile TED X talk.  The first ten minutes are an introduction, followed by a good piece on 'followers' and then this 18 minute talk on compassion.

http://new.livestream.com/accounts/1485232/events/1592800/videos/4517234

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Plato (428-348)

Congress Shall Make No Law

Words matter. Uh huh they do.  Freedom of speech.  Freedom to assemble. 

A fellow I know recently wrote this:

"I was a little surprised to see that the Board of Commissioners is considering an ordinance to regulate public assemblies.

I feel very strongly that this is a regulation that we do not need and are much better off without. Let me start by reminding everyone of the First Amendment to the Constitution: “Congress shall make no law ... abridging the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

I believe this is regulation enough.

This ordinance, which as of this writing is not available on the county website, nor has it been considered by the county Planning Board, would restrict protests to “grassy areas” among many other restrictions. In my opinion this goes very much against the intent of the Constitution; which, to paraphrase one of our senators, intended that all of America, not just grassy areas, should be a Free Speech Zone.

The impetus for this ordinance came when a group tried to ask the sheriff about some questionable traffic-stop practices in his department. So rather than be bothered answering their questions, he seeks a new regulation to avoid being bothered in the future. That just isn’t right.

Some may be legitimately concerned that a protest may interfere with the business of the county. This has never been a problem in the past that I am aware of. I feel that, provided the protest is “peaceable,” the importance of being able to hold our government accountable far outweighs any minor inconvenience such as walking around a protestor.

It takes courage to speak or protest publicly. Don’t make it any harder on our brave citizens. Don’t let our First Amendment rights be diluted. Tell your commissioners your feelings about it at the public hearing.

Oh, and don’t bring a sign larger than 36 inches, and if you plan to come with nine or more people, be sure and get a permit first."

Since I know this person, I know they won't mind me copying and pasting this.  Nearly everywhere we turn someone wants to regulate free speech.  These same people do not want regulations imposed in industry.  These same people want to loosen pharmaceutical standards, building standards, you get the picture. So we make a little regulation.  These same people changed the ability to speech out BEFORE a meeting and now this must be done after the meetings are conducted. Keep in mind, this is the "government of the people, by the people and for the people."  Where are people's needs outlined here? 

Remember.  "Congress shall make no law ... abridging the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Get Your Flirt On

This is too much fun!

It's cool outside so I bundle with a fleece jacket, scarf, long pants and yes...sandals.  Out I trod toward the gazebo.  I see a friendly face from a distance all bundled including his head.  I can't make out what he says.

Closer I go and I see it is my neighbor.  A very nice man.  An interesting man.  Single now.  I put my flirt on.  Am I having fun or what?

Then I see another neighbor walking her dogs.  She goes up to the nosey neighbor's patio door.  The nosey neighbor notices I am there chatting.  She can't stand anyone chatting; she has to know everything.  She decides to join us. Err, butt in. Dog in tow.  It makes it look legitimate. 

Nosey neighbor breaks into our conversation, friendly and chatting.  After way too long, she leaves.  I come closer to whisper that she is the nosey neighbor.  He already knows that.

He goes on to say he doesn't want to be part of the 'group' so he stays to himself. He won't attend the nightly 'gathering.'  He seems to enjoy the gossip.  Finds it more than funny which it is.

Well, I had my flirt on if only for a few minutes.  Until the next time.

P.S.  He was smiling the entire time:)

What The Bobcat Told

This morning before the sun was fully up, I saw an animal around 30-40 pounds.  It didn't behave like a dog, and then it occurred to me.  It is a bobcat.  It went back into the woods.

Now bobcat were plentiful in the Smokies of western North Carolina.  Being in nature was one of the things I felt I would deeply miss.  After all, how can you compete with a black bear on your front porch, and a red wolf in your side yard?

I know why the bobcat came.

BOBCAT
	Silence, Solitude and Secrets
People with a Bobcat totem are often solitary like their totem animal. Coming to terms with that, learning to be alone without being lonely is part of what the Bobcat can teach. However, you must be careful not become a recluse. Learn when to be social and when you need alone-time. Bobcat people often become keeper of secrets and they must learn never to break their silence and friend’s confidences. If trust is broken, things will be distorted and blown out of proportion. Keep the secret -- maintain the silence -- honor the trust given. Bobcats have the ability to turn on and off creative forces. Bobcat magic uses darkness and secrecy; be silent about your magic and power – don’t broadcast what you can do to everyone. Speaking of it dissipates the power. You must learn when to speak, how much to say, and what to share with others. This is essential. Bobcat people are night people. They also can have psychometry (the ability to sense an object) and/or clairaudience. Trust in your senses.  Even if there is no logical reason, trust what your inner voice is saying. Bobcat people can see what is hidden -- and this ability can make some people uncomfortable around a Bobcat person. Source:   http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/bobcat.htm

The Light

I have come to a place
That heals and restores me
Inside and out
It has much to teach

Go inside, go inside
The slow whisper says
You are the
one you've been waiting for

Inside, where it is quiet
Inside, where the chatter ends
Only if you want it
You can stop it

A local woman
Spews her nasties
Hurts and controls
She's unhappy inside

Wait, go now
Inside is where
You work
Always

Let her
Be who and where
She is
Now.  Always.

The shield is there
Will you use it
Will you cower
The choice is yours

I have come to a place
That heals and restores me
Inside and out
I am the student.