Post Holiday Thoughts

Morning came early.  4 a.m.  I don't sleep well when I know I have to be up soon.  This time, it was to take two family members to the airport.  We left at 6:30 a.m.  Yawn.

Now it is clean-up time.  Time to do lots and lots of laundry.  It was also time to do some repair work.  My daughter enjoys sewing.  I wanted to help her out so I repaired a pillow.  She and I are in the process of sewing. 

I admit to liking things neat and tidy.  Being in chaos is troubling.  Sometimes I think I need more of it to allow myself to go within and find that peace that often eludes us.  I attribute this to personality.  And history.

Christmas is harder now in some ways.  My space constraints are tighter.  Always one to love having company, this place is just too tight for more than one.  Especially with my dogs.  In my NC life, I had a utility room.  They were relegated there when I had company.  I also had a backyard. 

But it doesn't work to talk about what was.  There are way to many "what was's."  Epicletus plays on my mind.

"It's not what happens to you, it is your thoughts about what happened to you."    Epicletus.

I somewhat understand people who like or who have zero tolerance for anything deviating from their quiet.  I know a couple like that.  Even barking dogs bother them.  More rigid than I for you.  And glad I have some flexibility.  It doesn't get easier with age, either. 

My Blu Ray is working.  Twas a bit confusing, albeit very frustrating with my family members all telling me how to start it at the same time.  I am one of those step by step people.  Finally, in total disgust I let it out.

"Consider me special ed when it comes to this.  Then maybe...maybe you can slow down enough to actually help me."  Trust me.   It wasn't said in kindness or compassion.  Grrr.

I was reminded to let the energy go.  Others had moved on.

I also ended the beginning of a relationship with a very immature man. I will listen to my intuition better next time.  Hopefully. 

It was a nice holiday.  Seeing my family is wonderful.  My best moments were dinner out at a local restaurant.  No stress, easy conversation.  Yup, the best.

I hope y'all have a wonderful week! 

Lucky

It's my first winter holiday in New Hampshire.  There may be snow flurries Christmas Day. 

Now that the cookies and meal making are behind me I sit for a time to reflect.  Mostly on the now.  With enormous gratitude.  Wow.

I am lucky to have my family under my roof tonight. To have them all for dinner soon. Lucky to be living near my daughter. And this lil man who reminds me of what really matters in life. 

Lucky for all my friends who are so dear.  Lucky for a new man in my life.  So glad I was/am able to trust again. 

I am indeed blessed. 

Pre-Holiday Thoughts

Holidays have always been fun.  Exciting.  Preparing holiday meals, shopping, buying little gifts for my family were always delightful.  I also loved having them in my western North Carolina home.  It was more than spacious, easily accommodating everyone.  Even the kitchen was wonderful.  There was always so much room in which to prepare meals.  And, I got accustomed to having things done in a relaxing manner way ahead of time.  A place for everything.

But as I get older, I see how much of a control freak I am.  I want things a certain way. A place for everything.  Of course, my family doesn't care anything about that.  I am learning some lessons functioning in my apartment in New Hampshire now. I hope I can stop complaining about this.  Now.

This is my NC home.  For sale.  Interested?

Realizing how lucky I am to have found such a nice place in the beginning, I admit to longing for my former space above.  My life feels a bit upside down today.  And lately.  A lot.  I am closer to family and I love that.  Absolutely!

Now I am trained as a gerontologist.  I have worked in retirement homes.  I heard folks talk about parting with long held treasures to simplify their lives.  Sometimes I think I did this move way too early.  I wouldn't think so if my accommodations were more spacious.  But then I would probably find something else to complain about.  At this stage, I am supposed...earned...want... things easier. I want some remnants of my former life. But only the ones I choose. The truth is I am damned lucky life is so good. So I will quit b*tching and enjoy  all that is.  In a minute.  Promise.

I won't tell you about my experience making Russian Tea cookies.  That I couldn't find the right ingredients, that the oven cooks hotter than it registers, that my Kitchenaid mixer died.  That my kind neighbor lent me his hand held one.  I also won't tell you most of the cookies are in the trash.  They fell apart.  This time next year, no doubt I will have a new mixer, find the exact ingredients I need and maybe even...if I am lucky make these little treasures.  Oops, I just told you. 

Tomorrow or the next day I might even bake Brown Bottom Cupcakes with my lil man.  I hope the mixer works better.  He loves these little delights in the mini-muffin papers. I wish I could say I am not huffing and puffing over this.

Soon my family will be here.  I will hold the moment and love being together with them.  I will love that I am in a warm and dry place.  That the dogs could be here with me. That I have an underground garage. That I could even afford to move here. 

Yes sirree.  I am learning flexibility.  It is a good thing.  I do believe I even have a smile on my face now.

Happy Holidays!

Stop The Violence

Where do we begin to discuss the events of Friday in Newtown, Connecticut?  That has been one of my overnight towns when I travel north/south.  We are all numb.

Leonard Cohen, a now 78 year old singer, songwriter, musician, poet,novelist  presents this tribute: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-SeKsVm7YE

His work "explores religion, isolation, sexuality, and interpersonal relationships."  I heard of him on a blog a few years ago. 

Actor Morgan Freedman said this:

"Morgan Freeman’s brilliant take on the shooting in Connecticut:
Turn Off the News

“You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.
…

It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? 

Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I’ve seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you’ve just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man’s name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news.” 

Source:  http://harrisspeaks.tumblr.com/post/38012607039/morgan-freemans-brilliant-take-on-the-shooting-in

What is it about our society, our world that allows this to happen?  When we spend more money on the military, more of our energy on violence than we do on our own people. When we stop the violence in the media...tv, movies, etc. and focus on loving relationships maybe then...and only then we have a change to truly evolve.

 

 

E-Harmony

Buyer beware.  A review of the online dating site, e-Harmony:


"I recently filled out a profile on eHarmony, complete with the personality questions they asked. According to eHarmony, this is a point by point personality profile based on psychological data, etc. in finding the perfect match. A little background about myself should be told before I go on about the matching. I am a recovering alcoholic/addict with 5 years clean and sober. I do not drink and I do not drug. My sobriety will not survive if I get into a relationship with someone who is not sober. When I was asked, "Do you drink?" I answered never. The next question was, "What would you be willing to accept from a potential partner?" I answered, "Drinks a few times a year." I was then asked how important this is to me and I answered very important on the sliding scale.

When I finished and checked my matches, everyone (there was 7 total) indicated that they drink several times a day! Are you kidding me? My only hope for a relationship based on this so-called psychological profile is to settle for a drunk? Can someone please tell me the name of any shrink that would say that I should date an alcoholic or drug user? I understand that this was only an online questionnaire, they do not know my past. But when I say that I do not drink and it is very important that the person I am with at the most only drinks a few times a year and I am matched with drunks, I tend to believe that the whole psychological profile stuff they are pitching is a load of crap. Not wasting my time on eHarmony."

And there is more:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/eharmony.html

Happy 12/12/12!

I've always had a thing about numbers.  Lots of them roll around in my head.  Always have.  Even as a child. 

My Dad (above) had a photographic memory.  Mine isn't quite as good as his. But I do have his square face.  See?!

Mom didn't.  Nor did my bro. But I got her bunions.

Meet my bro.He doesn't have bunions. He is pictured above with my dog. Never interested in our family.  But could he swim and fast! A powerful stroke.  A swimmer's body back then.

Happy 12/12/12!

Interest

 Last evening after a chat about December 21, 2012 I spoke about how economies are false.  They are manipulated by humans.  Below is a historical review of the prime interest rate.  Mortgages are generally set 1% above prime.  

As you peruse this, I am curious as to your thoughts given the history of our world. What do you believe justifies this.  And please do not spew academic nonsense.  This, too, is manipulated to answer the question.

Just 84 years ago this began at 2%.   

1948           2

1956          4

1966           6

1970           8

1972           4.5

1974          11

1975            7

1978          11.75

1980           20

2012            3.25

This is quite of interest to this blogger.  The burst in the bubble happened for a reason. Do you know why?  Think human construct as you respond.