Friends

I will never understand gossip.  Small minds.

Bored people.  No doubt.  As I was thinking about this, I got such a lovely note from a friend.  Friends have a way of raising your spirits, reminding you to take it easy.  Be in the moment. 

And then there are my friends.  Such beautiful people.

Where would I be without my friends?  Few and far between for most of us.  And dear as can be.  I am honored to know them.  They remind me of the things in life that are important.

This blog is dedicated to them.  I love you all!

Bye, bye, bye

Buy, buy, buy.  We were sold a bill of goods.  Over a lifetime.  Okay, I take full responsibility for my consumption.  But you, the merchants taught me something valuable.  You do not stand behind your products.  Heretofore, I will buy a whole lot less.

Don't tell me my money isn't power. 

My Own Client

A week of too many emotions.  When I trained as a gerontologist, I worked with lots of older adults who were transitioning into different stages.  Some were dying, some in a coma, some going into a nursing home, or assisted living.  Some went into independent apartments.  My heart was heavywhen I saw the scared faces of folks who didn't know where they were.  Sure, they knew but in an emotional way.  They were unfamiliar.  In time, they settled in and came to love their independence.  No more home maintenance.  More time to enjoy friends, theatre and their artistic endeavours.  I never thought I would be going into an apartment.  Until...

Until it became just too much work.  Until my children settled and began families of their own.  I didn't want to be longing anymore.  And, I would do just about anything to get closer to them which I did. 

So today my furniture was moved in. I didn't expect such a range of emotions.  Closing one lifestyle and beginning another.  Why did I accumulate so many things? I don't ever want to do that again. Stuff takes you away from yourself, it takes time to care for it, pack it and wonder why it wasn't packed by the so-called professional movers.  Project managing in life gets old fast. 

So I can now sit on my sofa, sleep in my own bed tonight.  In a few days, my spine won't hurt so much.  I am learning a lot about change.  Change was never difficult before.  I am still wondering why I have so much stuff that I rarely use.

Tomorrow and in the days to come, I am going to re-evaluate all this stuff.  Simplify.  Streamline.  I think I have become my own client.  Yikes.

With Love And Gratitude

Tears filled my eyes as the CRJ 200 taxied down the runway in Asheville, North Carolina.  My heart was heavy with love.  Love for my friends, love of the mountains that nourished and protected a wounded woman over eleven years ago. 

I came to the Smokies to lay bare my soul.  To grow within, open and to breathe.  I did all of those things.  I contracted, I expanded. I cried.  A lot.  I cried for a life that had to change if I was to grow.  Belief systems are like that.  I embraced the growth and tried not to make it a vocation, but rather, a gentle becoming. 

In time, I grew beyond where I was geographically.  I longed...sometimes desperately to be closer to my adult children. Suddenly, the world opened.  I found a new home that fit beautifully.  A dear friend helped me pack up, sort and move forward.  A friend that cares more about my growth than himself.  That is a rarity.  I am very lucky to have someone so evolved.  I know he will visit and that the distance will never be an issue.  It never is when they are in your heart.

This move has brought me closer to the ocean with the mountains nearly.  And closer to my family.  It is a different and unique stage I am entering.  I am out of sorts but that will dissipate in time. 

My eyes are heavy.  I will write again soon. 

A Meaningful Life

What does it take to find inner peace?  A cozy, comfy living room.  A special comforter, good friends, good health?  Maybe all of the above.  Maybe a meaningful life is sprinkled into the mixture.

All around me I see people who have lived many years.  Seventy or so.  Some just talk about themselves, with little query into the lives of others.  Some won't even let you speak because they are so filled with whatever they are filled with.  It isn't about geography, it is about what travels inside of us.  We do take our histories, personalities and our poorly socialized ways.  What we resist will persist.  html

Entering Into Stillness by Bill Walz Rapid River Magazine July 2012

“Whenever you deeply accept this moment as it is – no matter what form it takes - you are still, you are at peace.” – Eckhart Tolle In Zen teaching, emphasis is given to embracing the present moment without holding conditions on the content of the moment.  This means that from the perspective of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, of one’s calm and balanced presence, a moment in a divinely beautiful setting in nature is fundamentally no different than a moment stuck at a traffic intersection, or being diagnosed with cancer.   There is, however, a Buddhist saying that “enlightenment is easy for the person with no preferences,” implying full realization of how seemingly inhuman this perfect equanimity would be.  We all have preferences.  How could we not? This perfect equanimity must seem like a strange and impossible notion to embrace, and it may well not even seem like a state to which one would choose to aspire, but, as with all Zen teachings, the direction in which it points, though perplexing, is a very valuable path for us to explore. Buddhism teaches us that our emotional suffering is caused by our resistance to the realities of life.  We want life to be the way we want life to be.  We grasp after those things that bring us closer to the realization of our desired experiences and goals, and we avoid as much as we can those circumstances that frustrate our desires.  This seems self-evident, but its importance is in the insight that the emotional ups and downs of our lives are the result of this search for desire fulfillment, and that it is possible to gain a larger perspective that allows for far greater peace, wellbeing, profound sanity and happiness within life’s ups and downs. If, like all of God’s other creatures, our desires were limited to the very basic necessities of life, we wouldn’t face emotional turmoil.  For a squirrel, a fish or a bee, to have the basic needs of biological survival is enough, but for humans it isn’t.  It particularly isn’t enough for modern people living in technological societies driven by a consumer economy.  Oh, the suffering of a status-conscious teenager who doesn’t have the newest must-have possession.  Oh, the suffering of an ambitious adult passed over for promotion, blocking the purchase of that new home and car.  Oh, the suffering caused by arguments among family, a failed love relationship, financial instability or a crisis of health. Oh how we suffer over insults and slights, real and imagined. What separates the human from the squirrel?  Quite fundamentally, it is a more elaborate brain structure capable of abstract thought and sense of self.  Certainly, many species of animals have the instinct of hierarchy, and dominance competition is common, but straightforward biologically-ingrained processes resolve such issues, and then everything settles down.  For humans, struggles of status and significance are very different. Humans anticipate this struggle, form strategies and devices to give them advantage, and live in reflected dissatisfaction with the results even when we win – the triumph is always tenuous and temporary, never complete.  No squirrel lives in a remembered world of triumph or defeat.  No squirrel worries about whether their status is sufficient, about whether they are sufficient, about whether they will gain or lose status or happiness in the future.  Humans are obsessed with such matters.  It is an abstract sense of self and its time-line story, what psychology calls ego, creating this suffering that is unique to humans. Buddhism teaches that identifying with, and being driven by, the desires of the ego is what causes our emotional suffering.  We want what we want, and we suffer when we don’t get it.  We want an entire story line of “me” that is made up, not of moments in the here-and-now, but a continuous flow of moments all strung together creating the time-line of our lives.  This time-line is the ego’s story.  We live in a blurred cacophony of moments remembered and anticipated all built around our need for significance. “This moment, what is lacking?” – 9th Century Zen Master, Rinzai This moment experienced in its purity has no past and it has no future.  It only contains what is present.  There is no timeline to this moment.  There are antecedents and there will be a future to this moment, but this moment held in stillness is completely pristine, and ego cannot dominate experience without its storyline. “This moment is a perfect moment.  This moment is my refuge.” – Thich Nhat Hanh Bring awareness into your sensory experience of the moment.  Begin with awareness of the gentle rhythm of your breathing.  Pay particular attention to the release of tension that comes with the exhalation.  Then experience the bright clarity of perception that is a conscious inhalation.  The mind will begin to quiet.  It will begin to focus; it will take on a rare quality of stillness, a dynamic stillness that is the quality of a calm ocean, a forest glen.  Allow into perception only what is present, without its antecedents and its future, and a world of mystery that is life and Creation in its true form begins to be revealed.  Stillness is the key, a dynamic stillness that is the fabric of Nature, of the Universe. As we become increasingly capable of sustaining contact with the dynamic stillness of the moment, not needing, or feeling compelled, to move on to something else, we likewise become increasingly the master of our own mind, and the saner (and happier) we become.  Stillness becomes the ever-present background while we live the activity of our lives.  Awareness that all activity arises and passes back into stillness becomes our greatest insight. We learn that we can enter the stillness of this moment by choice and use it, as Thich Nhat Hanh suggests, as a context and a refuge   We can learn from within stillness how petty and unnecessary are most of our attachments and ego cravings, the noise of our lives, and so, how unnecessary most of our suffering is. Stillness is the realm of meditation and mindfulness.  Stillness is the place where we learn that we are not imprisoned within our thoughts and emotions, and thus, victim to their vicissitudes.  This stillness is where we learn that all things are manageable when framed from within this moment.  Stillness is the doorway through which we can glimpse eternity and Creation.  Stillness is the doorway to perfecting psychological and spiritual balance and understanding. This moment, held in stillness, lacks nothing, for in it, we and the Universe unfold, are one, and are complete.

Comcast India

20 minutes to get a phone number so that I can waste more time calling Xfinity Comcast.  The call center put the wrong name and wrong username on my account.  The onous, of course, is on the customer.  C U S T O M E R.

So I am directed to Comcast Xfinity India on a chat line.  that is, after I spent 10 minutes waiting for my phone call to be answered.  Only to be told to call after 8:30 a.m.  Duhhhhhhhhh.

I don't like you.  I don't like HOW you to business.  You don't care about the customer.  YOU DO CARE ABOUT $$$$$$$$.

Thank you for teaching me I do not need a computer.  I do not need tv.  You are on probation.  Buy less.  Decrease stress.  Value people first.

Shame on you money mongers!

Simplicity

Get over yourself. 

Why do we have to understand ourselves?

The earth plane is a singular experience.

Do under others...

Spend time in the present.

Emotional intelligence is the most important.

Cultivate your inner circle of friends.

Be honest with yourself.  Always.

People always show you who they are.  Listen, Learn.  Discern. 

Life isn't complicated.

Uncomplicate yourself.

Finding Walden

Walden's Pond is always within.  The transcendentalist writers often went elsewhere to find themselves.  It is an interesting idea.  Everything begins anew. The quiet, the lack of familiarity bring you closer to yourself...in more ways than you anticipated.

Lunch with a friend recently brought this to mind.  We spoke about the value of meeting regularly with a group who want to lovingly be there for one another.  Some of these groups have gone on some thirty years.  Some meet weekly, some monthly.  The content is always the same.  A sample dialogue:

Robert: "So, Jeffrey, how is the dating scene going?"

Jeffrey: "What scene?  Bunch of who*es out there.  Why can't I find a meaningful relationship, others do."

Robert: "Well, we don't KNOW that.  We know they have something like a partner.  Don't assume. "

Jeffrey:  "Good point.  I want someone to really want me."

Celeste:  "You have to want yourself first.  What if our energy is given out more directly than we know - that others feel what is inside us. Fear, neediness.  Do we really think we hide it?"

Craig: "Jeffrey, you have told us before about the abandonment you experienced as a child.  Could it be you are still trying to find that security?  Just a thought."

Jeffrey:  "Wow, you have such clarity.  Why don't I see that?"

The group chimes in, including Sandi who agrees with Robert.

"We all have the same thing, neediness, security, ego.  I think it is onion-like.  We peel off slices of it when we are ready."

I am finding my Walden, one slice at a time.

Moving Day!

It's moving day!

The three and a half week wait is over.  Y'all know I have been looking for a rental for over a year.  This trip north I found one.

The humidity is quite low today.  Thank you universe!  A friend has offered to help me.  Soon, Phase One will be complete.  Phase Two will happen next week.  I'll ...I am already feeling sad.  Tears.  I don't know when I will be back.  I hope it isn't before too long.

So say a prayer for me.  Says lots of them.  That my home will sell in 2013.  The energy is shifting.  I am more than grateful.  I am where I am supposed to be.  With my family.  Finally.

Dreaming of the South End

The universe in my world has opened.  So many wonderful things are happening.  I may move a few things into the apartment tomorrow if the carpets are cleaned and dried in the morning. 

Part of the adventure is not knowing where you will land for a while.  I like being in a city as long as I can find my quiet.  Traffic is not one of my favorite things. 

These are some of the things I saw on my daily walk last summer through Portsmouth.  In the south end.  The houses are 150 plus years old.  They require lots of maintenance.  They are also quite expensive.  Many are tucked in sideways.

I might like living in the south end.  Permanently.

Hi!

I am getting all kinds of challenges here.  I love it.  It forces...well I am not so sure that is the word but I am making better choices.   About everything.  Not settling. done of this surprises me.  It is humbling, though.  To know...know...one's vulnerability.  We all have it. 

The pickings are not so slim anymore.  More choices.  More wide open.  These are just words.  Labels.  Writing this I want to erase it all, the type, the experiences.  I could easy just let it all go.  Fessing up keeps us cenetered.  Maybe it is what the Catholics do, they confess.  But always one not to need to talk this over with anyone, living with oneself seems to encourage that.  To be heard.  I hear me.  Better now.  I am ready to do something about it.  Feeling more support.

I have always been the one to support.  I was and am the Mother.  Maybe it is in aligning to my set of behaviors and experiences.  It is not about setting an example, it is about being. 

Sitting in the theatre last night, I was thinking about how insular everyone seemed.  I decided to talk to the couple to my right.  A taffy pull to get them to open up.  And then it happened.  A familiar accent.

"Well, yes, I am from Winston-Salem.  Came here forty six years ago."

"I am used to people that sit near me, behind, in front and to the left and right talking to me."

Funny, when I first moved to the south, I was so ready to open up more.  Always a friendly soul, this fit me nicely.  But sitting in the historical music hall, well let's just say it felt cold. 

All around me, people were connecting with their friends.  I don't want to be anonymous here.  I won't.

For Mindy

You instantly 'friended' me the summer of 2011.  I was renting a studio three doors down from your bakery/coffee shop. I became a regular.

But today I learned something upsetting.  Your sister told me you had breast cancer.  Diagnosed this April.  Then I saw you from the back as you were making deliveries.  You had lost all of your hair.  Your sister said that happened on the third treatment of chemo.  You even had a party wherein everyone snipped some of your gorgeous hair until it was gone.

You celebrated your life.  That you found this when you did.  Your sister says the cancer is quite advanced.  Chills run up my spine as I write this. 

I am remembering the day you gave me about 50 bread loaf bags for toileting my dogs.  We often passed one another in our walks.  You knew I needed them. (no pun)

Then we began to walk together.  Your spunky nature was a joy to be around.  So much life in you.  I am saying prayers for you, Mindy.  Once again, I am reminded to live every moment.  To appreciate the friends who are there for you.  There are not many but there are enough.  I treasure them dearly.  Always. 

Life is about those close to you.  They show you kindness and you love them for that.  This diagnosis has also softened your sister.  I don't think she ever said too many words to me.  It didn't bother me.  But today, she needed to talk.  I told her how much I admired the closeness you both share.  Two sisters owning a bakery.  Bonds never broken.  How lucky you both are.

For you and Mindy, I pray both of you can find peace with all of this.  I am glad to know you.

Joy

The other night my daughter and I were laughing at the things that annoy me.  To counter that I wrote a list of the things that do not annoy me, but rather, give me an immense amount of joy:


the smile and laughter of my children
my good friends
my dogs bathing each other
yella tapping her door bell
fresh morning air
feeling comfy
the smell of coffee in the morning
sunrise
sunset
birds
the opportunity to live in the Smokies
the opportunity to live in New Hampsha
the ocean
rivers, lakes, streams
sunshine
hugs
grands
puppies
the first snow
the last snow
bulbs popping up in the garden
figuring something out
not having to figure something out
and so much more...

Going, going...

Sorting by Skype.  How great is that?  My friend and I went through eleven years of accumulation tonight.  All done thanks to Skype.  And the efforts of a friend.

When I arrive in North Carolina soon, there will be less to go through. 

A lifetime ago, my first move was a large box filled with childhood momentos and a bunch of clothes on hangers lying on the back seat of my car.  At 22 in 1971 how much stuff did a person have?

Today's twenty somethings have more than a box full.  So do sixty somethings.  I want to live more simply but the fact is I use this stuff. 

I will be reporting how I fare with half the space, half the stuff.  Soon.  Until then, I await the delivery of the half I am transporting.

Water Bound

Water.  Clean.  Clear.  Blue.  I took this picture in Newfoundland a couple of years ago.  I have wondered what it would be like to fly.  Or to swim anywhere.

My talented son-in-law snapped this bird scene.  I like the white birds against the blue water. 

Travel is fun but there is no place like home.  Where ever home is.  I am fine away from home for a week.  Beyond that, I want my familiarities.  Then I am ready to go again.  I am thinking I may travel every 10 weeks here-to-fore.  Not sure where I will soar but I do like to go.  I am sure wherever it is, there will be water involved. 

Home

It is pouring outside.  Gentle and constant.  A cold breeze pushes by me.  Tapping, louder and irregular.  The air is at once fresh.  My face feels cool.

The rain washes away the past.  The bombs bursting in air.  I want to celebrate by hugging.  By creating a loving space.  By ensuring the future is a peaceful one.  The rain loudens.  Is that even a word?  It is now.

One dog is asleep on her side.  The other looks like a Honda with her nose to the ground and her hind quarters up.  Aerodynamic.  She scours the floor.  Wondering who was there before. 

The rain is full force now.  It will probably be short lived.  The sliders are open.  The sleeping dog isn't anymore.  She thinks she may miss some activity.  Ears are open.  I think she is watching the television.  The sound is off.

The washing machine is spinning at the first quarter of its hour long presentation.  How can an hour long wash be energy efficient?  Thirty minutes is about right.  I'll do two loads today.  The next up is the sheets.  I'll be vacating on Tuesday so I am in the final leg of readiness.

I am in a hurry to go to my unfurnished abode.  Not even a bed.  The dogs have a bed, and all the food they need.  Dishes, too.  I have none of the above.  The bed will arrive within three weeks. 

My daughter is happy.  Seeing her at my porch last night felt strange and familiar.  It is good to be home. Wherever I am.

I'll Walk In The Rain

My sister-in-law, a  coloratora, sang this to her son when he was a baby.  I sang it to my children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgOU1h12G_w

When I think of my friends, I think of this.  I just wanted you to know.  I will always walk in the rain by your side.  Wherever I am.  Always.

The lyrics:

For Baby (For Bobbie)

I’ll walk in the rain by your side, I’ll cling to the warmth of your hand.
I’ll do anything to keep you satisfied, I’ll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me, little birds will sing along in time.
Leaves will bow down when you walk by and morning bells will chime.

I’ll be there when you’re feeling down to kiss away the tears that you cry.
I’ll share with you all the happiness I’ve found, a reflection of the love in your eyes.
And I’ll sing you the songs of the rainbow, a whisper of the joy that is mine.
Leaves will bow down when you walk by and morning bells will chime.

I’ll walk in the rain by your side, I’ll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand.
I’ll do anything to help you understand, and I’ll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me, little birds will sing along in time.
Leaves will bow down when you walk by and morning bells will chime.

I'll Hold Your Hand

The Nora Ephron I loved deeply 

A tribute to my dear friend

Comments (3)

Noonan, Jeanne Freelance NYDN/Freelance

In May 2011, Nora Ephron visited P.S. 16 in Jackson Heights, Queens to meet a pen pal.

Nora Ephron and I started out as enemies. I had written something about her, something she didn’t like, and so when we met some time later, she turned on me with a cold fury and to a friend standing nearby spit out every one of my offending words — one after another, precisely as I had typed them.
I was awe-struck, also intimidated, and so some months later when she came to my door with her new boyfriend, Carl Bernstein, she coyly said, “This is going to be like the movies. We start as enemies and end as friends.” She extended her hand. I took it and never let it go.
Last week, the movie ended. Nora died. She had been my friend through her stay in Washington and her marriage to Carl, the birth of her two boys, the breakup, her return to New York, her marriage to the screenwriter Nicholas Pileggi, the collections of her essays, the first novel, then one screenplay and then another, into film directing and then into plays as well — the one about Lillian Hellman and Mary McCarthy, the one she did about the late Daily News columnist Mike McAlary, which is set for Broadway.
Toward the end, the books and the movies and the plays seemed to come cascading out of her, a gusher of creativity that was both stunning and humbling to watch. As only a few people knew, she was on deadline.
Nora was sure of everything, unsure of nothing. She was mystified by religious belief. (What are they thinking?) She was a feminist and a liberal and a warm, expansive human being. She shepherded the wayward children of her friends — finding them jobs, counseling them — tended to her causes and charities and insisted, based on her own experience, that a woman could indeed have it all.
Nora took my life and renovated it. She decided that I should become a columnist and somehow it happened. She found summer rentals for me and made her friends mine, and she instructed me about love, writing, real estate and investments. I hardly a move without her. When I wrote, especially if it was something we’d discussed, I felt her hovering over my shoulder: After 40 years, a “good column” from her meant the world to me. It was the best payday of all.
Nora read everything. She excavated the past for worthy books of yore — she discovered Wilkie Collins and made me read him. She loved Jane Austen and Edith Wharton but reveled in the tabloid muck as well. If you wanted to read something before she did, you’d have to go to a printing plant and steal the damn book. If you mentioned a movie, she’d seen it. If she hadn’t seen it, she had read the script or had it pitched to her.
She set a mean table and cooked extraordinary stuff. No matter what she served, ideas were the main course — not just for plays or books or movies or essays but as toys for adults, and even kids. She was a salonist. For Hemingway, Paris was a movable feast. For her friends, Nora was.
I loved Nora Ephron. I loved her for her wit and compassion and her literary and personal courage. I loved her because she enriched my life and sat with me in the hospital while my wife was undergoing cancer surgery. I loved her because she made her disease a secret, never a spectacle, and she used the time she had left to write wonderful stuff.
I was — I am — a lucky man. My first day at The Washington Post I was seated next to Carl Bernstein. We became friends and then Nora and I became friends — platonic lovers of one another in a way that Harry or Sally never could appreciate. The days since her death have been a kind of bottomless existence. Her friends are all at a loss; we float, unmoored. We could never believe our good fortune. We cannot comprehend our loss. I reach for the phone. I have an idea. I’ve read something. Did you know . . . ? Of course you did.
I will never let go of her hand.
cohenr@washpost.com

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/nora-ephron-i-loved-deeply-article-1.1106529#ixzz1zaIdOzqW

Exeter!

Exeter!  What a cool town.  Hustle and bustle.  Cute store.  The Green Bean Cafe.

The drive from Exeter north on 108 is lovely.  Stopping along the way at all kinds of neat furniture stores with reclaimed, reworked and new furnishings is a sight to behold.

Lots of open space.  Pastures and farms.  Not a whole lot of lights.

So Long, Facebook

I am no longer a Zuckerette, or is that suckerette?  Everywhere we turn we are suckered into some kind of gimmick.  The candy strategically placed for a child's easy sight at the check out counter.

The small print in a contract or as a come on.  Or a social media site.  All your friends can hear about even the most minute detail in your life.  Then a friend tells you Fb is making yet another detail of your life public.  They can do what they want.  They own the site.  They hook you in. 

Even the Zuck used the precursor to the site for unsavory, unkind purposes.  I wouldn't do that. People are hanging out hoping someone will 'like' their comment, or picture.  We have allowed businesses to use us. 

Love that red hair and all but this gal is not buying anymore.  New life, expansive friends, great friends...awesome.  Better choices...starting with Fb. 

De-activation completed.

Counting

Thank you to all who offered to help me sort out and unload things so I could move.  You are true friends. 

I have been thinking a lot about friends.  And acquaintances.  The latter are a waste of time.  They don't add much to your life.  Why did I expend any energy helping them? 

But the less than a handful who offered to do what they could, wow oh wow.  I am more than moved.  But I already KNEW who they were.  I am more than grateful. 

Looking back over my life, there have been few helpers.  Truly.  I think of all the peeps I have lent a hand to.  Was it ever returned?  Hardly. Did I expect anything in return? Never.  But I know. Really, I do. 

I am counting my blessings.  If you have one true friend you are blessed.  If you have two, you have abundance.  If you have three, you made good choices with your energy.

A dear friend spoke a bit about judgment, discernment the other day.  Who is there for you when the chips are down.  To whom do you place your energy.  Words come cheap, but efforts...wow oh wow.

Two people offered to help me.  I have abundance.  Friends.  And there are friends at distance, you continually send me notes of encouragement and joy.  I so appreciate you! 

I've learned a lot these past few years on my own.  I have been taught well.  By the experts.  The rest of you, I'll 'unfriend' you fast. No hard feelings.  I just don't want to expend any more energy on you.  My energy, heretofore, goes to those deep in my heart.  Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Liars

Simply turn on the tv, radio or read a newspapers.  Everywhere you hear about someone lying.  Cheating.  Whether it be philandering, stealing, evading the truth, there are way too many liars among us.

When my children were in middle school, we invited a friend's son on vacation with us.  The entire week he schemed.  He schemed to find a way to get into the movie theatre for free, get something extra at dinner by claiming bugs in food, or lifting something from a store.  I wondered how - what went amiss in his upbringing.  Enter his parents.

The mom competes with everyone.  The Dad is in the insurance business.  Sorry, but I think the insurance business is one of the lowest, slimiest businesses there is.  Especially health insurance.  Yuck.  They are cheaters.  They look for insurance frauders yet they commit it daily.  Through denial of claims, tossing of claims, ignoring of claims.  They are in cahoots with policy makers.  They make major contributions. They are the cheaters, too.

Our government politicos cheat.  Priests cheat.  Lawyers cheat.  Business types cheat.

Do the right thing.  It is really simple.  Your karma will be a whole lot better.  Note to self; stay away from the media.  It clogs the mind and does little to lift the human spirit. 

Missing Summer

There has been a lot to do this year.  Spring came and went before I knew it had arrived.  The flower bulbs were not as vibrant.  They knew I was leaving.  They weren't going to give me a glorious show.  I didn't want to work in the garden this year, either.  My time here was limited.

Readying for the New Hampshire trip seemed to happen all at once.  Usually, I pack for a week or so.  I did that last year with nearly no visible fruition.  Little did I know I was moving the following year.  The year before I packed things I could use right now.  This was the sustenance move.  Could it be that I found my little spot because of that?

The next 3-4 weeks will be about packing, unpacking.  Stocking up.  Decorating.  Ohhhh, decorating.  Wonder if I will move the furniture about so much.  Probably not.  I will FEEL more settled.  The NC house never felt like home.  It felt like a new beginning for which I am most appreciative.

I can't miss summer.  Simply can not. Cold weather sets in pretty quickly here.  They tell me November is a rainy month.  I am going to find my summer.  One way or another.

The Countdown

July 1st.  Already.  This is the month of the 'move.' 

Making lists is efficient.  Productive.  It feels great crossing things off.  There is the NH list and there is the NC list.  The phone rings.  My professor friend from WCU wants to meet for dinner this week.  But when?  Scramble, scramble.  Tuesday night it is.  She's a Mainer.  Wrote me the nicest lil note welcoming me here.  She loves Maine!  She has a house there, which by-the-way is a mess she says.  She hasn't been there for nearly two years.  Much to do.  Tomorrow night is Linda's birthday dinner.  I am taking her out.  I met her last summer.  Amazing woman.  Will probably retire to South America.

Making lists is like writing this blog today.  One notation on the list diverts me somewhere else.  To create yet another pile for the move to the apartment soon.  I will have piles in NC, too. 

Pile 1:  Teen Challenge of the Smokies

Pile 2: Recycling Center

Pile 3:  Swap shop in Dillsboro, a.k.a. the Dillsboro Recycling Center

I hope there isn't a fourth pile. 

Even wrote a note to a friend asking her to pick up some stuff for me.  I have trouble, lots of trouble asking for help.  I need a bit of help to pull this off.  My kids want to come and help but it is so far for them.  I told them I could do this myself.  My daughter will help me with the receiving of furnishings in NH. My son will help when he comes to visit next month.

I think I will drive back to NC in February.  Maybe stay until April.  Enjoy early springs and the bulbs.  Gosh, I'll miss that.  Note to self to move all the porch furniture inside.  It will fill the otherwise soon-to-be empty areas.  Imagine four rockers in my house. What will I do with the child rockers? 

After this is sorted out, packed and moved I'll probably come back in the spring.  More sorting.  Then I will drive back to NH in time for my daughter's birthday in May.  It will be nice to return to NH   after 'our'  New England spring thaw. I expect to depart this time of year EVERY year.  But that is another blog.  So I shall spend my daughter's birthday with her - first time since she graduated high school and left for college. That means a lot to me.

So much runs through this head.  Will I get everything done in time?  Will I be upright after moving things around. I have a few herniated disc so this is always a challenge.   I have to replace the furniture because if I do not the movers may move the wrong things.  They fan out in squads on a move like this. They will pack anything near by. I wish there were two of me.

The apartment will have a coastal theme.  Found an area rug I am buying for the living room. I am already missing my five plants.  My friend will take good care of them.   Giving plants is the best!

Back to the coastal theme.  I already have one rug for the master bedroom in NC.  I hope to find one for the guest bedroom.  That is probably where I will place the flat screen tv - on the wall.  I am getting more excited.