My Own Client

A week of too many emotions.  When I trained as a gerontologist, I worked with lots of older adults who were transitioning into different stages.  Some were dying, some in a coma, some going into a nursing home, or assisted living.  Some went into independent apartments.  My heart was heavywhen I saw the scared faces of folks who didn't know where they were.  Sure, they knew but in an emotional way.  They were unfamiliar.  In time, they settled in and came to love their independence.  No more home maintenance.  More time to enjoy friends, theatre and their artistic endeavours.  I never thought I would be going into an apartment.  Until...

Until it became just too much work.  Until my children settled and began families of their own.  I didn't want to be longing anymore.  And, I would do just about anything to get closer to them which I did. 

So today my furniture was moved in. I didn't expect such a range of emotions.  Closing one lifestyle and beginning another.  Why did I accumulate so many things? I don't ever want to do that again. Stuff takes you away from yourself, it takes time to care for it, pack it and wonder why it wasn't packed by the so-called professional movers.  Project managing in life gets old fast. 

So I can now sit on my sofa, sleep in my own bed tonight.  In a few days, my spine won't hurt so much.  I am learning a lot about change.  Change was never difficult before.  I am still wondering why I have so much stuff that I rarely use.

Tomorrow and in the days to come, I am going to re-evaluate all this stuff.  Simplify.  Streamline.  I think I have become my own client.  Yikes.