Older Ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1422503916&x-yt-cl=85027636&v=O4QzHeUE-CM#t=95

Older Ladies

 by Donnalou Stevens

Well, I ain’t 16, not a beauty queen.
My eyes are baggin’ and my skin is saggin’,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

Well I ain’t 20 either and I don’t care neither.
My hair is gray and I like it that way.
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

If you don’t think I rock, well we ain’t gonna roll.
If you don’t think I hung the moon, my hot just turned to cold.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
‘cause if you can’t see what it is you have,
Then you ain’t having me.

I got cellulite and achin’ feet,
And my thighs kinda jiggle when I giggle or wiggle,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

My tummy ain’t tucked or liposucked.
It’s a little poochy, but I still Hoochy Koochy,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

See, I’m no longer desperate. I’ll only have a man,
If he has the smarts to see how hot that I still am.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
If you can’t see what it is you have,
Then you ain’t having me.

Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies… are DIVINE!

Well I gotta chicken neck and I love it, by heck,
It makes a double chin whenever I grin,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

I got saggy breasts that droop from my chest,
Pert near down all the way to my nest,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.

If you don’t think I rock, well we ain’t gonna roll.
If you don’t think I hung the moon, my hot just turned to cold.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
’cause if you can’t see what it is you’ve got,
You ain’t getting me.

Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies… are DIVINE!
Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies… what are we ladies? We’re DIVINE!

Read more at http://www.metaspoon.com/older-ladies-donnalou/#w3DSg1by0DYKvB1H.99

Equanimity: Quite The Recipe

Equanimity in Every Bite - Shaila Catherine – Tricycle Magazine

NEITHER the coarse feeling of unpleasantness nor the agitated feeling of pleasure, equanimity, the Buddha said, is one of the highest kinds of happiness, beyond compare with mere pleasant feelings. Superior to delight and joy, true equanimity remains undisturbed as events change from hot to cold, from bitter to sweet, from easy to difficult. This neutral feeling is so subtle that it can be difficult to discern.

 

Equanimity is steady through vicissitudes, equally close to the things you may like and the things you do not like. Observe when the tendency to move away from what you do not like ends and the tendency to hold on to what you like is also absent. Personal preference no longer dictates the direction of attention. Equanimity contains the complete willingness to behold the pleasant and the painful events of life equally. It points to a deep balance in which you are not pushed and pulled between the coercive energies of desire and aversion. Equanimity has the capacity to embrace extremes without getting thrown off balance. Equanimity takes interest in whatever is occurring simply because it is occurring. Equanimity does not include the aversive states of indifference, boredom, coldness, or hesitation. It is an expression of calm, radiant balance that takes whatever comes in stride.

 

The taste of a favorite meal, perhaps eggplant Parmesan, may be exquisitely clear: the sweetness of cooked tomatoes, the aroma of basil, the soft texture of the eggplant that melts on the tongue, the saltiness of the Parmesan cheese. Each taste may be discerned with acute precision and clarity. They are also enjoyed as a unique blend and appreciated for their combined qualities. When equanimity is dominant, the experience of craving another morsel is absent. The eggplant Parmesan will instead be fully experienced with equanimity rather than delight. For many people such balance around taste would be a unique moment.

 

Some of my beginning students have told me, "But I don't want that kind of happiness. I enjoy the gusto of delight. I relish a passionate involvement with my life. I love the excitement of experience." I understand. As a concept, equanimity may appear unappealing, but students nonetheless discover, quite to their surprise, that the exquisite peace of balanced states has a taste of happiness beyond pleasure and beyond pain. Every experience of liking something has as its counterpart disliking something else. The fickleness of personal preference agitates consciousness. The deeply balanced state of equanimity makes a sustained investigation of things possible. Out of this combination of concentrated stability, penetrative investigation, and mindful awareness, consciousness may awaken the unshakable nature of happiness.

 

Spiritual practitioners thrive in unpredictable conditions, testing and refining the inner qualities of heart and mind. Every situation becomes an opportunity to abandon judgment and opinions and to simply give complete attention to what is. Situations of inconvenience are terrific areas to discover, test, or develop your equanimity. How gracefully can you compromise in a negotiation? Does your mind remain balanced when you have to drive around the block three times to find a parking space? Are you at ease waiting for a flight that is six hours delayed? These inconveniences are opportunities to develop equanimity. Rather than shift the blame onto an institution, system, or person, one can develop the capacity to opt to rest within the experience of inconvenience.

 

From Focused and Fearless: A Meditator's Guide to States of Deep Joy, Calm, and Clarity, © 2008 by Shaila Catherine. Reprinted with permission from Wisdom Publications, wisdompubs.org.

93

Happy Birthday, Mom!  You would have been 93 today.  You left way too soon, but you were done with the earth plane. 

You would be happy to know your ashes were spread on the woods at my home here in the Smokies.  On the side of a mountain.  You always loved the woods.  And the ocean, rivers and stream.  I think you were happiest when in nature. 

Maybe that is why you studied earth science. I loved the walks we took along Calvert Cliffs (Scientist Cliffs as some refer to them) looking for shark's teeth.  I remember walking with you and my two children there.  Do you remember how lost we got?  We traced the same area three times.

The good news is my sense of direction always got me home.  A little better than yours.  The more encouraging news is that my daughter's is a whole lot better than mine. I can hear you laughing at this.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Windows

I've always been drawn to nature.  Whether being in the woods or by rivers or oceans, you sense the rhythm, the universal sound found in nature. First, you hear it with your ears.  Then you hear it with your heart.  The heart naturally adjusts its beat in tune with nature.

Have you ever noticed when you are among like minded people, that your heart rhythm matches theirs? This has also been documented especially with people in love in a study at UC Davis.

http://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/labcoat-life/lovers_hearts_beat_at_the

When I was a child, I observed people's continual busyness. There didn't seem to be much space between projects to enjoy their completion as they immediately jumped into the next one. So it becomes a linear timeline of 'production' without really being present.

I married the everyready bunny and in time, I became much busier than I had previously been. Fortunately, I found my way back to a more balanced lifestyle and I still enjoy my projects. While I learned a lot in these projects, I learned more in the spaces between them and allowing myself to 'be.'

Right now I am remaking newly purchased Battenburg curtains to fit my favorite spot, the studio. The room has lots of light and offers southwestern views. Essentially, I have to shorten them by twelve inches to make them into valances and I will probably add headers. I will probably leave the original ones hanging a day or so before I remake them. This affords me time to observe the light coming through them to ensure I want to shorten them.  I get immense joy out of light, color and space looking out on the oldest mountains on earth.

Wow.

Can You Handle The Truth?

Things have become so complicated (who did what in the terrorist attacks around the world) that I just sigh.  A read of Jean's column confirms this.

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?

https://jhaines6.wordpress.com/

I admire people who tell the truth.  Who put their lives on the line for humanity?  I appreciate the work Jean and others are doing. 

Discernment is key when reading anything spoken as the truth.  This is nothing new.  There are lots of people pulling scare tactics on all sides.  Charlatans. The only saving grace for all of us is karma.  Negativity is more powerful than anyone can imagine.  It does come back to you.  The same is true of positivity. 

And those whose hearts are fixed on Reality itself deserve the title of Philosophers. (Plato, Republic)

The society we have described can never grow into a reality or see the light of day, and there will be no end to the troubles of states, or indeed, my dear Glaucon, of humanity itself, till philosophers are kings in this world, or till those we now call kings and rulers really and truly become philosophers, and political power and philosophy thus come into the same hands, while the many natures now content to follow either to the exclusion of the other are forcibly debarred from doing so. This is what I have hesitated to say so long, knowing what a paradox it would sound; for it is not easy to see that there is no other road to happiness, either for society or the individual. (Plato, Republic)

When the mind's eye rests on objects illuminated by truth and reality, it understands and comprehends them, and functions intelligently; but when it turns to the twilight world of change and decay, it can only form opinions, its vision is confused and its beliefs shifting, and it seems to lack intelligence. (Plato, Republic)

 http://www.spaceandmotion.com/Philosophy-Plato-Philosopher.htm

May truth always keep you free.

Time

"I knew it!"

"You weren't the same that day.  Most people miss it entirely, but I knew."

She was terrified when the thumping began.  Two legs outstretched hitting the wall like the thump of an unbalanced washing paper.

thump-thump-thump-thump...

"Mommy came to our room as soon as she heard it and moved me away.  I was scared.  She was, too."

Grand mal seizures display a mathematical violence few can comprehend.  Seeing it, feeling it and succumbing to that horrible place where you are helpless.  thump-thump-thump-thump...

"Our senses are our survival.  The smell from you early that evening said you were not okay.  I cuddled up to you just loving you."

"Mommy moved me away so she could tend to you. Then she came over and cuddled me when it was all over.  You took a while to recover.  Before long, we were back on our soft, clean beds and sound asleep."

"Then the next morning, the thumping began again.  Mommy was there immediately and took you away from me in the car.  I didn't know what happened, but she said something to me."

"Later you came home and Mommy was exhausted.  Crying.  I stayed closer to her than normal.  I tripped her a few times just following her around, but she understood."

"Two days later, she came to me and put you next to me.  She said something with the saddest look in her eyes.  I saw tears running down her cheeks. Then you both went out the door into the car and left."

"When she returned you were not with her. She sat on my bed and took me in her arms crying.  She talked to me and then left the room.  I never left her side again.  Ever."

"I got to go on lots of rides with her.  Downtown, to the farmer's market, to the grocery store, post office and bank."

"She was never the same after you left.  Nor was I."

"Then I got sick and Mommy was right there.  Crying.  Comforting. She took me in the car to the vet's office.  The vet took me right away.  Mommy said something and the vet said something back to her.  I had never seen the vet so sad as she dropped her head and gently shook it side to side.  I knew it was my time, too."

Jessy

Molly

                                                          In Loving Memory

                                                                       - Mommy

Blessed

Do you sometimes feel as though you are living someone else's life?  I think this happens in all too many marriages.  Maybe even among folks who live together.

This happens especially when you are young.  Probably when you couple up before you know who you are.

I love being a free spirit.  I really am.  Always an independent person, even as a child, I could never understand on sleepovers while children cried for their parents.  I was so glad to be away from mine, to have a sleepover experience.  The whining and crying of my friends...frankly, annoyed me.  Even at ten.

It felt as though they were missing an opportunity, a great time.  An experience.  An opportunity to experience themself.

But experiences are changing for me.  For a while I thought I might have fibromyalgia.  After consideration, x-rays and lots and lots of medical/integrative/holistic evaluations, I succumb to accept that I have arthritis from head to toe. I tried an herbal patch on my neck this week to relieve some of the pain.  After wearing it 30 out of the 48 hours I was supposed to wear it, I ripped it off.  Nasty thing it was.  My neck is still stained from the ingredients.

This pain began at 40.  Despite what I do, it just gets worse.  I am grateful to be upright.  My mother had arthritis quite young.  So every year over 30 has been one of immense appreciation.

I started this blog speaking about living someone else's life.  Most of us do, you know.  Passive or active.  I live mine.  It is at times joyful, exhilarating, mostly peaceful and always realistic. 

I don't talk about this much.  Few close to me know how much pain I am really in.  It is a dull conversation at best.  I am not sure how long I can stay in my home.  It gets harder and harder to find help to do the things necessary for quality homeownership.  But I am here now. And tonight.

I am living my best life.  It has been quite a ride and I am sincerely grateful it has been as good as it has.  I am truly blessed.

The best part of being blessed  - I know it!

On Sewing

Sewing was what the women in my family did.  My aunt, Nana and Mom sewed.  Whenever we got together, we were shown the latest garment that was sewn. 

                                                               the studio

I remember my mother making a skirt and blouse for me, one for herself and Nana made one for her.  Thet were a yellow and gray check.  Definitely not my favorite color.  But the price was right and that is what mattered. 

I loved going out with Nana and Mom dressed alike.  Mom and Nana did, too.  More than proud to be part of the clan, at eight, I felt like a grown-up.

This past week, I made the tiny sundress shown on a hanger on the doorknob for my granddaughter.  I will hem it after she tries it on.  As you can see, the dress is a hot reddish-orange 100% cotton.  The background has a hint of mint, white and a softer orange.  And there is a lot of fabric in the closet for more clothes for her.  I love sewing!

I am still making my way with my new Baby Lock Elizabeth computerized sewing machine.  So much to unlearn.  I like the quietness of the machine, the smooth stitches.  I also like sewing in a room that faces south.  There is lots of warm light and now the studio has just about everything I need save some kind of funky window treatment for the windows.  That will come when the artist is inspired.

Soon.

Finding IN

Looking back, I realized I had moved the mountains in my life.  The trail had taught me that.  Stay focused, vigilant and look forward.

The horizon is forever changing.  But what really has to change is how you see it. The thing about nature is a metaphor for your life.  It just is.  Whatever we need is always within.

Sunrise, Sunset

For over a week now, I've gone to bed early.  Even as a child, I loved going to my room.  Finding that quiet space within.  Sleeping on fresh linens.  Feeling total comfort. Lots of pillows.  A nest.

Now I go to sleep early because I am just too tired to stay up any longer.  I enjoy following the light.  Rising in the sunshine, retiring in the darkness of the night.  It resonates deeply within me. It always has. 

Melatonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for sleep, lessens with age.  There isn't a way to check its levels so far, so I take the leap that my melatonin levels are decreasing.  I don't fight it, I surrender to it.  Just the other night, I was supposed to go to a party with a group of friends.  Come one o'clock, I texted a friend saying I may not make it until six o'clock.  By four o'clock, a second message was received that I was already in my jammies.  I didn't mind one bit missing the gathering.  There will be others.

I have done that a few times in the past week - missed gatherings with friends.  When one friend invited me out for a drink, the friend suggested 'immediately after work."  My friend knew me well.  It was a fun evening.  Lots of memories, sharings, good times.

Sitting in my studio, the sun is fading.  Cloud cover is abundant.  Trees sway as the winds pick up.  The sky is at once a contradiction depending upon which window I look out.

Lately, I am using a cervical neck pillow and it seems to be working.  But tonight, with the arctic temps, it should be one big

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Crimes of Silence

It was the second fall of their marriage. A coolness swept over the area along with red, orange and gold leaves from nearby trees which lined their street.  They lived in a one room walk up apartment just outside of Washington, D.C. close to the law center.  It was over a half hour from her work and a little further from his law school.

It was one of the few affordable apartments in their price range.  $167 per month including utilities.  The Pepto-Bismol sink and stove were the only challenge.  Katie was determined to make it cheery -  orange, apple green and a slight hint of pink. Very 1970s.  They added a burnt orange area carpet purchased at a nearby tent sale. 

Henry, a law student seemed cute, sweet and focused. Early on, it was evident he cared more about his career than their marriage. He was rarely available to her, always studying.  Often when they had plans with others, he would cancel the plans at the last minute. 

"I need to study," he would say with no remorse.

He always came first.

She just wanted a loving family.  A place to belong, a nice job and later on, a university education and graduate school.  They both wanted to buy a home as soon as possible. Even when they decided to cut costs and eat Hormel Chili for a week, she was the only one who got sick.  She didn't think about it at the time.  I mean why would she suspect her husband of trying to make her sick.  For days, she was ill at both ends.  Her physician tested her for salmonella which was negative.

Then it was the death threat at their front door.  She thought it had to be placed there by the physician for whom she was testifying against in administrative law court.  It was lots of  little things over the years.  She wondered if he sabotaged her relationships with friends. Then there was the l-shaped piece of metal jeri-rigged in the wheel well of her Camry that nearly burst her tire.

Only when she filed for divorce did the truth right itself.

"I wished you were dead," he said.

Mindfulness: On Fixed Identities

 Everyone has a fixed identity.  This is a fixed image we have of ourselves as good or bad.  It is loaded with labels as we have labels for everyone and every thing in this culture. 

Fixed identities can have positive and negative components.  Commenting to someone that they did a great job on something often results in little or no response.  They are so fixed on their identity that they couldn't possibly let a comment in;  they already knew they did it well.  The same is true of when someone doesn't confirm us the way we want them to.  Our fixed identity will ignore their comment and just feel hurt. 

Our fixed identity of ourselves comes from a place of pain.  We will do just about anything to eradicate pain or undesired feelings.  Just look at the amount of people on anti-depressants.  Perhaps if they would allow themselves to feel the pain fully, they might be able to move forward. 

Most of our feelings come from a ninety (90) second automatic response of the psychological mechanism behind the emotion according to neuroscientist, Jill Bolte Taylor, in her book, My Stroke of Insight.  I remember the courage she displayed sharing her stroke and recovery from it as I poured through her book years ago. Rather than move behind the 90 second emotion, we make it last often many years.

So the challenge here is to move beyond our thoughts.  Our thoughts of who we think we are.  Who we want to be.  Getting beyond the limits of our minds.  One only need to look at the myriad of 'selfies' on social media to understand how we have come to be.  It is all 'look at me", "look at me" - maybe if you see me, I can, too. But it doesn't work that way.  Change begins within.  Quietly.

It is exciting to learn that we now have two members of Congress who are Buddhists. Tim Ryan, from Ohio, is one.  In his book, A Mindful Nation, he writes about mindfulness.  A blurb about his book:

"All across America, people are running faster and faster yet falling farther behind. The economy struggles, wars rage on, and every week brings news of another environmental disaster.     Despite this bleak outlook, strands of quiet hope and confidence are emerging. People are beginning to face challenges in a new way: they are slowing down, paying attention, and becoming aware of their inner resources.     Based on the timeless practice of mindfulness, the natural capabilities of our brains and minds, and the core American values of self-reliance, determination, and getting the job done, this new way is affecting every sector of our society. In A Mindful Nation, Congressman Tim Ryan connects the dots between what’s happening in the classrooms, hospitals, boardrooms, research labs, and military bases across the country. He explores the scientific findings that support the beneficial effects of mindfulness and shares powerful stories from the field, showing how this simple practice is helping schoolchildren improve their ability to learn, veterans heal from trauma, and CEOs become more effective leaders. Ryan also provides practical tips for how to incorporate mindfulness into your life today.     A Mindful Nation paints a picture of emerging solutions that benefit both you and society as a whole, showing us that there is something we can do, right here and right now. With a hard-nosed understanding of politics, government budgets, and what it takes to get something done, Ryan combines a practical approach with a hopeful vision for how mindfulness can help reinvigorate the American Dream."

So the real challenge is to let go of the storyline.  Fully present.  Coming from your heart.  Without any agenda. Always.

11:45 p.m.

It is happening again.  For more than a week now. 

Sleep has come early recently.  A virus, sinusitis, aches and pains.  But sleep is elusive lately.  Awakening at 11:45 p.m. happens nightly.  The story is much the same.  Retiring two hours before and then awakening fully refreshed. 

Keeping a record is important.  A record of what I remember upon awakening.  Sometimes it is knowing that a family member will die soon.  Dreaming about things about to happen so vivid it would take eight hours to enact the full story. 

AS assures me it is more abductions.  That they will be lifelong.  Sometimes in conversations with others, I have to catch myself not to share too much.  People tell me things that my dreams recently played out.  Dreams?

Dreams.  But it doesn't come in book form.  It comes with living and hearing about daily comings and goings.  Recently, a friend mentioned something that happened and I already knew about it.  I didn't know I knew until they mentioned the story and then my dream came front forward.  That is how it is with most intuitive people.  We don't get a story line.  We get triggers.

I knew my nephew and his wife were expecting.  That another relative was expecting and her sister would be expecting.  I knew my dogs would pass soon.  Authenticity is another thing coming full forward. 

I will keep you informed.  Sleep well.