Do you know what your purpose is? Have you thought about it? It is a trending question. An elusive one.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved to write. I wrote easily in high school, went to college for a year, then a business school for another, met a law student and married. We had two children. When I returned to college at thirty, with two small children, I wanted to write and write and write.
It didn't come easy. When wrote in my thirties, most of my work dealt with the comings and goings of the day. A mother who felt neglected by her husband, the business of surrogate motherhood, families destroyed by lack of knowing, wanting a healthy lifestyle for my family to continue.
Flash forward twenty years later. The kids are grown, I've been single for a long time. The mountain house is beautiful. Snow is more frequent now. Asian beetles are abdundant. Everything just wants to endure.
It is harder now. Each breath seems to bring on more physical losses, more pain. Sometimes I just don't want to move my body. I have neaver dreaded snow until the last five years. It is too much, too hard, too painful. The road near my home is rarely plowed. I am over this.
Rethinking where to be. With each tapping of the keys, I create a new awareness. Maybe this is just too hard anymore.
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