I am feeling sad right now. For the past few weeks, I have endeavoured to get some things done around my house. Some things were done. Some things will be completed in September.
What makes me sad is unkindness. To living things. People, animals. And being foul. Last week, a local restaurant hung a really foul tee-shirt up. I can not and will not show you a photo of this. I would be beyond embarassed and you should be, too.
What kind of people think of humor like this? Maybe they also make ethnic jokes? I go through spurts where I really need to stay away from some people. And this is one of those times. I also know we can change of foci and I am doing just that as I type this note to you.
My little granddaughter is beginning to sit up. She is 17 weeks old. Quite stubborn. Determined. And laughs a whole bunch. I will see her soon and it won't be soon enough.
It is hard to be away from her. It seems so much of my life is upside down sometimes. But times are changing and people want so very much in their lives. It comes at a cost.
I do not know how mothers can work full time. It has to be a heartbreaker. I know it is for me. My daughter wants more than anything to be home with her baby. But then, there is the balance. She is stuck at home. I say stuck because she can't seem to get out enough. Naps and routines tend to take over. So do babies who refuse to nap. My daughter was one of them. It was exhausting and now she has one who refuses to nap and then gets overtired and becomes hysterical. I remind her regularly that these phases come and go. So do our attitudes about them.
As I look at my way-too-quiet life, I am saddened by all of this. Why can't life be easier? Why can't we expect less of it? Why, why, why?
I am also sad when I leave my beloved home. Sad that I won't be in my space where I can do what I please with whom I please. And joyful that I can travel! See my family and come home again.
I am truly lucky indeed.
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