Graduation Address

I am more than ecstatic to be here!  Hello world.

Of course it would have been nice to receive a formal letter, asking me to speak to all of you on this beautiful May day.  You didn't and I will not hold that against you.  You probably invited one of the Kardashian women instead. I suspect they turned you down first. 

This isn't going to be your normal graduation address.  It will be eclectic.  Graduating from college isn't a big deal.  It is a big deal to graduate into a more evolved self.  I hope you do that throughout your many lives.

Many of you already know that I was socialized by a spirited, independent Mother who had post graduate work in physics.  That she made my wedding dress and tuned my car isn't miraculous.  It is just who she was.  She got things done.

Many of you already know that I was socialized by a naturalist kind of father.  He preferred to be in the woods, organizing a community event, or teaching first aid or ballroom dancing. 

We won't go into the undeveloped emotions of my parents.  They were who they were as I am who I am.  You get to be who you are, too.  Without these fascinating parents, I wouldn't have the opportunities I have had.  I might even have been a hoarder.  Did I just say that?

The one thing I always wanted was a loving family.  Career wasn't high on my list, though I knew I would always be involved in community service.  It began at eight pouring sodas at baseball games in a Coca Cola vendor both.  My father was the baseball commissioner.

I got a loving family.  To know my children is an honor.  I couldn't be more proud of them.  Watching them grow is my greatest joy.

Fame and fortune were never on the list.  I did want to live well, Marrying at twenty-two meant this woman was young.  Much younger than your typical twenty-two year old.  There was no long term plan.  I didn't need one.  Living in the now, though I didn't know it then would be the road I took.  Combine this with a woman who loves to plan.  I like to plan anything.  Except the impending move.  I am working that through.  I will like it soon.  Maybe even today. 

My graduation speech for you is to be true to who you are.  Society is usually in turmoil, it is the nature of people.  Coming from an English family, I was told not to speak up.  Few people did then.  Not only was it rude, it could cost you.  Cost you in friendships, jobs, community.  Imagine this as a child of the 60s when people were speaking up.  Mostly about social values.  People are speaking up more in the workplace.  I think that has quickened in the past ten years.

But tell your truth.  Speak up for injustice, for children, for older folks.  Speak up to your friends.  Do it well.  Speak up to your lovers.  Don't let anyone put you down.  Ever.  Don't accept the status quo.  Education is about opening the mind, not making money. 

In 1969, I was working in a hospital in Baltimore.  There was an opening in the laboratory and I applied for the position of Supervisor.  The Brit turned American who would ultimately be my boss, told me he wouldn't interview me.

"You're going to have a family.  Come on.  You won't be focused on work.  This job need someone who isn't distracted. It isn't you.  It is because you will marry, have a family."

It took me about half a minute to collect myself.  This guy has to be kidding.  I was raised without a glass ceiling, without limitations, only the ones I would impose on myself.  Okay, it is important to note that there was a fair amount of verbal and emotional abuse in my family of origin.  But you could be anything you want.  As long as it was in the sciences.  It has to be quantified.

So I didn't get the job.  I got the guy and married him.  I never once thought of him as a meal ticket.  I did think he was my best friends.  For years.  And then I grew and wanted a different lifestyle.  You will have to invite me back for another commencement speech to hear that story.  It is a good one.

I also want to speak to the women in the room.  Don't walk behind your spouse or significant other.  Be a person in your own right.  Sharing pets, children, housework.  And for Heaven's sake, do not placate anyone.  Speak your truth.

Wherever you go, what ever road you travel, be the Walter Mitty.  Try it all out.  Break the rules and that doesn't mean drugs or speeding.  Ask more of society, ask more of yourself.  Find your peace.  Let the folcrum reset itself.  Be easy on you.  And go get 'em.