Energy Remembers

The things I loved about him were also the things I hated about him.

That he was resolute about how he spent his personal time became more than I was willing to bear.  It was the extremes and the lack of balance in our relationship that in time, moved me further and further away from him. It was then that the resentment set in.  Like gangrene.  There was no turning back.

Perhaps this will always haunt me.  I want, hope it will become a permanent lesson.  Encoded into my being so that I will never, ever allow this again.  Abandonment is the worst.  That you abandon yourself is a death sentence.

Here in the cafe, the maple panelling is dark. Mannerism style.  A small tray ceiling, encircles the nutmeg leather chairs.  A black round lacquered coffee table with a 59 gallon storage barrel cap functions as a lazy susan.  It is an intimate area, a great conversational corner.

I'm outraged.  It isn't just the tugboat that capsized in a river who didn't want it there in the first place.  It is the repeated attempts to surface it.  This time, the boat is wedged under a barge.  The river is tired of the foreign bodies that pollute it and the marine life.  It has a memory.  But people it is us who are sinking! It isn't the politicos, Congress, or former mates, partners or spouses.  It is us.  We are the ones we are waiting for.  When.  WHEN?  Will we begin?

We're more stuck than we know.  We sometimes vote and we are still shrinking.  Sinking.  Allowing. Hurricane Sandy is a metaphor for all of this.  It is our explosion within, our collective explosion, our anger, frustration, resentment.  It is all energy. All of it.  Now it is encircling us.  Our collective negative energy is coming back at us.

It is fitting that the magnetic poles have dropped 40% and that the poles, according to NASA will shift between December of this year and Spring of 2013.  The Mayans knew this. They also knew about our energy.

When do WE begin?