On Being A Single Parent

Most people think that being a single parent means you have young children.  Children at home.  That is not often the case.  Sometimes you marry and as you grow and mature, your spouse does not grow and mature with you. The marriage completes earlier than you anticipated even if you are the spouse wanting out. We don't see any of that when we are young.  Nor do we see them model their parent's behavior. Sometimes the view isn't too pretty. We would never have married that parent.  We surely don't want to continue the marriage with their offspring.

In the years since the completion of my marriage, I have learned to do only my part.  I can not make up for the other parent's lack of concern and/or responsibility.  The only saving grace is karma.  What you give out comes back to you.

My more than sore hands and wrists, knees and back attest to a weekend helping paint furniture at one of my children's homes. I think the furniture will be really nice when it is finished.  It was a job that was far more than I bargained.  Fortunately, we don't know that when we begin a project.

But what I gained this weekend in the myriad of little chats we had was a gift.  What a joy it is to be the parent with whom your child can share their feelings.  Their learning experiences.  Their frustrations. Their joys.

I was invited to participate in painting my child's relationship with an involved parent. To help paint the present and to help paint the future.

Unlike the paint on my arms and legs, this will not wash off. It is sealed into our family landscape and sealed into our family memories.  Forever.