Tossled About

Sullen eyes, and a down turned face.  The joy, the humor, the vitality had left him.  It was as though it was vacuumed out of him.  But why?

Softly wound curls, blonder than blond tossled about. He wasn't one for haircuts.  A snip here, a snip there and that would do it.  Mostly.  He'd rather be outside exploring.  Or putting something together.  Or telling a story.  Oh, how he could spin a yarn.  But his life was a solitary one.  He called it in but he didn't much like it. 

What he did like were kind and compassionate people.  He said he hadn't seen many of them.  A rarity.  Until he met her.  At first, there were embers.  He was afraid to ask...to dream of more.  When her family relocated he was more forlorned than he ever knew.  It was over.  Final. He dreamed of her walking down the road.  Dreamed they would meet on the sidewalk.  Dreamed of what he would say. Years passed.

Until the day they came back.  And he wouldn't let it happen again.  At first, he spilled out everything to her.  Exposed his wretched self as though she were a pristine thing, sitting upon a perch.  He was roughly hewn. She smoothed to finish.

One never knows what goes on in the mind of a partner.  Especially a new one.  We don't see beyond the facade.  What they allow us to know.  When they allow us in. 

Katie saw the sadness in his eyes. As though life wasn't what he hoped it would be.  What he hoped he would be.  Years of the status quo, allowing and not asking.  He was content to end his career as a CIA agent soon.  He would grab whatever joy he could find.  It was all in the timing.

Until that day.  He did what he knew.  He pulled back.  Distancing.  Katie felt it all and certainly didn't want anyone who wasn't fully ready for her.  And then it happened. 

Just as Clay was about to make the biggest decision of his life and ask for more, she bolted.  He was afraid to contact her.  Afraid of more rejection, like what he had experienced throughout his life.

Work was pressing.  Overwhelming.  He was exhausted from the hours.  Hours maintaining an unsustainable 'life.'  Clay didn't much think he had a life.  He had duties.  Lots of them.  He was glad to be coming back from another business trip.  

Maybe it was the darkness in the clouds above as he entered his black Audi parked at McGhee Tyson Airport. He knew something was up.  His boss had been grumpy all morning on the plane ride.  Irritable.  Clay did what he always did, he tried to ignore it.  But the boss seemed jumpy as the two walked to their respective cars. 

"Ok, I'll see you," the boss said.

"Safe ride home," said Clay.

Clay was worried. He was in the business of trusting his intuition. He decided to follow his boss out of the parking lot and down 129 until he turned off suddenly to a small road next to a wooded area. Clay knew the area well, having hiked and camped there before.  He decided to take the next road which was a short connector  road.  Clay creeped along with his windows wide open.  Suddenly he heard a car door slam.  Voices were screaming out.

"I am not doing it anymore," shouted the boss.

Then Clay heard several rounds of shots.  Clay peered from behind the tree where his Audi was now parked hidden from view.  Another government car was parked next to the boss's.  A familiar face stood over the boss's lifeless body.