I Vant To Be Alone

Before you can partner well, you must first live well with your self.

                           - me -

Ellie was relaxing on the wicker chair, as she does most every night.  The knoll upon where her house sits was especially inviting this hot summer evening.  The newly hung hummingbird feeder was receiving full activity as she hoped it would.  The birds had found a new spot.  On the side of the yard in the recently constructed Juliette-style deck with steps.  It was the most magical, mystical area.

It was a full day of activity - animal wise.  First, there were two month old rabbits, and some larger ones interspersed.  The larger one could be found hutched in a bald spot on the ground.  Clearly, this animal was planning to birth here.  Ellie covered the hole again and again not wanting a nursery in the center of what little grass she had on her mountainside home.

She kept thinking about the bobcat that came three evenings ago.  Why all this sudden activity?  What did they know?

Her dreams were becoming more and more vivid.  A palpation of sorts.  The animals felt it.  Ellie felt it.  More knowings.  Evening the so-called lenticular clouds were more abundant now.  Bobcats appear to remind us the importance of being with self.  Filling your reservoir with love, kindness and well being.  Always.

But she couldn't explain the strange sounds in her home.  Sounds which were becoming louder.  Ceiling boards creaking unusually in warm weather.  It had been hot for months so the expansion would have been complete.  There were similar sounds in the middle of the night.

She remembered feeling a presence in the woods this past Monday morning.  And in the early afternoon, but to a lesser extent then.  Cardinals were flying by her sunroom windows.  Hovering.  Was she the one incarcerated?  Incarcerated in what?  Some kind of metaphor.  She was sure of it.

How could she explain her need to be alone?  The random chit chatter at potlucks bored her.  She was becoming more of a loner, more of a person wanting small, intimate gatherings.  People who would understand.  She knew she had to balance her need to be away from the chaos so as not to come off aloof.  Or snobby.  Or elitist.  But how do you explain it to people just beginning to understand?  You can't.

Her pineal gland was becoming more noticeably activated.  Someone had sent her a video a while back about it.  It was time.  Vibrations were continuing.  Greta Garbo was in her head.

"I vant to be alone."